What's been going on? Does it matter? Life is what has been going on. Already it is the end of September and I have to begin to think about whether, and how, I might do Nanowrimo this year. If I do it, it will have to be different, gentler. No race for as many words as possible.
Life has changed considerably. I am less well in some ways, and more wellin others. My world shrinks constantly. I am now taking neurofeedback to try to retrain my brain out of going into my episodes, which a few doctors think are non-epileptic seizures and more think are psychogenic pseudoseizures. I am waiting for some one to tell me why I would have a psychogenic illness. A lot of doctors, it turns out, are qualified to make that diagnosis while at the same time they are not qualified to explain it. Talking with them is entirely baffling: parallel monologues, heavily driven by our separate agendas: I want help; doctor wants to tell me I have psychiatric problems causing physical illness. This does not go over well with me, especially from strangers..
While I continue with less enthusiasm to understand what is going on, I am also, with David, working on making my very limited life as satisfying as possible. I have turned to painting and fiber arts and away from writing, which tires me. It's a right brain-left brain thing.
And I've stopped sleeping.Siging off now and hoping for a successfulweekedn.
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