Today I start again. New beginnings.

No more blog about the mysterious Nvl917? How can it be?

I have been wrestling with how to proceed. What I am going through seems worthy of sharing. It is not (ha ha ha says a deep voice from above, or perhaps ho ho ho) what I intended to be going through now. Knowing that is part of what I'm going through.

For the moment the novel is in a box under the desk and in the back of my mind. More pressing matters steal time and energy. I would like to share some what's going on, and I would also like to keep quiet and hide under a blanket and hope that when I emerge I'll be back in Life-As-I-Wish-It-Were. In the meantime, I may keep this blog, sometimes from under the blanket, sometimes not. Sometimes I won't manage it at all. Or what I'm doing isn't really of general interest--a condition most of us suffer most of the time.

This all sounds very mysterious. It's not. I've been sick. I'm not working on the novel. I've been diagnosed and un-diagnosed repeatedly over the last two years. I've dealt with the complications of chronic illness, chronic interaction with the health care industry (traditional and alternative) and chronic interaction with the health insurance industry. Sometimes that makes for a good story: a good laugh, an interesting hypothesis, a good cry, a savage rant. So. I begin afresh.

More of the story will emerge over time. Many of the details are irrelevant, because if you are here for my thoughts, you can have them regardless of the details. My premise is that in some ways all patients, being people, are alike and some ways each is unique. We do not need to dwell on some of those uniqueness. I'm sure you'd rather not know, in fact. In many ways, however, the particulars of an individual's experience can be the pathway down which we all descend into the common human condition. If you are here because you too are sick, you will find little medical advice. I am not qualified to write such things. I can, however, write with honesty about life with a chronic illness. For me, art is a large part of that life.

This blog began as a record of my journey writing a novel. You will notice a large gap of time with no entries. Because I was not writing the book. I am still not writing the book, I don't think. I do think, though, my experiences, good and bad, might be able to help someone else.

So I am refocusing the blog. It's really about Art and Life, each of which always has its ups and downs. For everyone. I hope what I have to say applies to anyone. In my particular case I have health problems. You'll hear plenty about that. It is not, though, the illness which drives the blog. It is the act of noticing oneself pass through circumstances and the human need to share one's thoughts and experiences with others. We are communal animals. Stories and art make us human. Certainly my illness has made me more human over the years--more respectful of the challenges we face, no matter their nature.

I mention illness in the name of the blog to attract readers looking for community and information regarding chronic illness, with CFS, with mito disorders, or other health issues.. Illness in many cases is the milieu in which my life takes place, but not always. I mention art because for me and many others it is a key to so many aspects of a well-lived life. I mention gentleness, because, simply, it is often forgotten these days. We are seldom gentle with ourselves. I am a terrible offender in this regard. By so naming the blog I dare myself to remember to be gentle. And finally I mention diagnosis, because I have learned doctoring and patienting are not simple jobs.

Enjoy. Now the challenge of how to tell this story begins.